So your uterus wants revenge for not having that baby again, and all you can do is handle the bloodbath. For years, women have used either tampons or pads during their periods. I had mostly settled on using them myself, until this holy grail came into my life.
That is not wine that it holds.
What is a menstrual cup?
It is a feminine hygiene product, usually made of medical grade silicone, shaped like a bell and as flexible as that girl from Sia’s videos.
Okay, maybe not quite as flexible.
The cup is worn inside the vagina during menstruation and the best part is, you will not feel anything once it’s in.
Who even thought of this?
Menstrual cups drew first blood in the mid-18th century. The cups we know today, however, were brought to life by Leona Chalmers, an American actress, in 1937 and remodelled in the early 1950’s.
But Why Menstrual cups ?
Initially, I wasn’t willing to even try the cup, but after some research, some hesitation and some more research, I finally did try it, and I’ve never gone back.
Before anything else, let’s address the doubts on your mind right now:
“Why would I keep my menses inside me?”
“Will it spill if you actually leave one in for ten hours?”
“How do we know it is not sponsored by the Illuminati?”
Let’s get our facts straight
1 : You produce way less blood in any given day than you think, so the times that you actually fill your cup to the top are extremely few and far between; and
2 : Yes, if you get distracted and leave it in for more than ten hours while you’re on a heavy flow, the cup will overfill, and yes, your toilet will look like the elevator from The Shining when you empty your cup out, but it won’t spill; and
3 : The Illuminati don’t care enough for this.
So it’s not bad, but is it any good? What’s wrong with our good old tampons and pads? Why change?
Odor: The cup prevents your fluid from getting exposed to air, thus cutting off any chance of menstrual odor.
Tampons absorb all your vaginal fluid along with the blood, which disturbs the delicate pH and bacterial balance in your vagina.
It cuts sleep leakage out of life. Since a cup works by creating a seal inside your vagina, it spares your mattress and underpants from unnecessary blood stains.
This is how I deal with PMS
Cups are perfect for the lazy menstruator– Your average tampon hold 6-9 grams of blood. Compared to this, the cup can hold 28 grams of blood in one go, which is approximately half of the amount of blood you’ll produce during your whole period. If you’re not a fan of pulling something bloody out of your vagina, you probably won’t miss the tampon.
With a menstrual cup ,there’s much less to remember. Since you wear a menstrual cup continuously throughout your period, and remove it only to empty and clean it every few hours, there’s no chance of forgetting it when you head out somewhere.
Adults can actually contract diaper rash, and pads can cause chafing in the absolute last place you’d want it.
But enough of that, let’s talk money. One menstrual cup is usually more expensive than a package of sanitary napkins or tampons. However, it can be used for around five years. Depending on your cycle and habits, within 12 months, you should break even on the cup as compared to tampons.
To compare, even if you replace your cup once a year, you’ll still make 11 fewer trips to the pharmacy than you would if you used the disposable paper-based methods.
Which cup should I choose?
In Soviet Russia, Vodka chooses you.
Since you will probably be nurturing a longer relationship with the cup than your boyfriend, it’s safe to say you need to choose well. The good news is that you will get to choose in terms of size, length, capacity, firmness and disposability. It’s like the most eligible bachelor of blood flow control.
The Tom Hardy of menses, if you will.
Okay fine, but what’s the catch?
If this cup is all that good, why don’t I know about it yet? What’s wrong with it? Is Donald Trump involved, somehow?
Donald is not involved, no, although Sarah Levy might have found it useful in the making of this bloody work of art.
Spot the difference.
So the cup comes with luggage. You need to get used to using them. They might not feel comfortable at first. You might need to use the washroom so that you do not create a crime scene. And, worst of all, you will have to get used to ‘1 girl, 1 cup’ jokes if your friends find out.
We need to be able to talk more openly about our menses, and how they can be made easier to handle. The tampon and pad industry will be devoid of innovation if we don’t get to talking about ways in which we can make each other’s lives better. All things said, the only way to know if a menstrual cup is the right device for you is to buy one and give it a try. It happened to work for me and honestly, that’s all that matters. Period.